So its been a long break from the whole bloggity blog but I have been busy. Mainly just usual family bliss (I say that truthfully) stuff. Baseball games, Slumber parties and summer camp for the kiddos. It's been two years and we have melded into one great big ball of awesomeness and I couldn't be happier.
I had been reading quite a bit of information on Blogs and various sources from the "Anti-abortion" camp. As I'm glazing over the mostly insane and somewhat sad musings of Bio-mom's who were "gone get my babies back" it occurred to me that most of these bio-moms are searching and actively seeking these kids and these kids adoptive parents via social media. So as any good protective dad would do I began searching for my kids bio-mom.....and found her.
Not only did I find her, I found everything. Most of her items were made public so simply scanning her account gave me any information I needed to know. Most of her social media account was basically the typical: Woe is me, why are men such A-holes?, I need money,...blah blah blah. This scanning however did give me and more importantly my kids something important....photos.
During the "full discloser" portion of her rights being severed she was supposed to hand over any photos of the kids and medical information that she wanted them to have. They. got. nothing.
But here on her social media account I found them all. Photos of both kids from first grade up until she lost them to the courts. Click>Save as>desktop>print......now those photos belong to my kids. Why didn't she give these in her packet? What kind of person screws a kid over this way?
Friday, June 14, 2013
Sunday, March 10, 2013
As society crumbles.....
So being the adoptive father of my group or Friends and cohorts at work and school, I get alot of questions about adoption related topics that arise in the news. The recent Russian adoption ban caused some stir which allowed me to educate a few people about the differences between international adoption and domestic adoption. Its good and I'm willing to give as much info as I can then direct to more knowledgeable entities where I can.
Then news like this comes into play
Woman attempts to sell children
If you click the link to a Tulsa world article you'll be greeted with a very real and very harsh reality of what "parenting" has become. Pathetic
As soon as this article hit the news I began to get alot of questions about parenting and adoption and basically people wanting to know if this situation is indicative of what adopted kids go threw. I wish I could say no.
The simple fact of the matter is that there has been a huge loss of parental guidance and importance in our society that seems to have evolved from the 1960's and steadily crumbled into the sad state of parenting we have today. Obviously (and thankfully) there are great families out there but there are also an alarming number of kids that are going through real neglect and real abuse that we don't and may never know about. The parents of these kids don't think its abuse or neglect...until the state steps in and takes the kids away.
To make my point when discussing this article and similar instances of neglect and abuse, I ask the person I'm speaking with this question; "Conceptualize the idea of what it must feel like to be sold by your mother to get her boyfriend out of jail?" ....if "mother" is willing to even conceive this thought,...what wouldn't she be willing to do to hurt or neglect her own kids?
I know what the counter argument is, "its just one isolated case blah blah blah... It's not. I wish it were, but it's not.
Then news like this comes into play
Woman attempts to sell children
If you click the link to a Tulsa world article you'll be greeted with a very real and very harsh reality of what "parenting" has become. Pathetic
As soon as this article hit the news I began to get alot of questions about parenting and adoption and basically people wanting to know if this situation is indicative of what adopted kids go threw. I wish I could say no.
The simple fact of the matter is that there has been a huge loss of parental guidance and importance in our society that seems to have evolved from the 1960's and steadily crumbled into the sad state of parenting we have today. Obviously (and thankfully) there are great families out there but there are also an alarming number of kids that are going through real neglect and real abuse that we don't and may never know about. The parents of these kids don't think its abuse or neglect...until the state steps in and takes the kids away.
To make my point when discussing this article and similar instances of neglect and abuse, I ask the person I'm speaking with this question; "Conceptualize the idea of what it must feel like to be sold by your mother to get her boyfriend out of jail?" ....if "mother" is willing to even conceive this thought,...what wouldn't she be willing to do to hurt or neglect her own kids?
I know what the counter argument is, "its just one isolated case blah blah blah... It's not. I wish it were, but it's not.
Sunday, February 24, 2013
Punk Rock Adoption
Subculture.
It's not that I dont fit in.
It's that I wont.
When I discuss adoption with people who are not within the adoption community I get a lot of praise. "they're so lucky to have you and your wife", "You're saving those two babies" ...ect.
These are all well meaning and well adjusted people wishing to encourage and not to offend so I smile and say thank you. In my head however I'm saying: Your a fucktard.
The fact is that most people think they have a pretty good bead on life. Go to school, go to work, get married...get divorced, have a few memorable moments and vacations, die relatively peacefully with a feeling of purpose and accomplishment. Sounds pretty good. As long as you stay in your social circles and success pools of contacts and away from the "bad" areas of town where "those" people live...the world is pretty sunny and clean. It's a lifestyle I don't comprehend.
When the people within the above mentioned lifestyle give us praise for adopting there's always a background and subtle insult subtext that I can detect. By overpraising the adoptive parent they are in fact, attempting to dilute the accomplishments and future accomplishments of the adopted child. For example; when my daughter does fantastically well in her math class, it's "You're teaching her really well" or "you should be proud of all the extra home work you do with her". It's never: "You're daughter worked really hard and got the best grade". It's as if they wish to handicap my son and daughter because of being adopted, as if being adopted is some kind of huge mountain thus making any accomplishment is miraculous.
Both of my children have begun the second to last stage of the acquiescence into our family psychologically. They are relaxed and more focused on their individual wants and desires and less upon protecting themselves from instability and isolation. In short,...they are out there competing and gaining from the world. They are getting great grades in school, making friends and building their individual self schematics.
While both my wife and I are super proud of our kids accomplishments we are also giving our kids a realistic scale to measure these achievements throughout their lives. Good grades are fantastic, but if you get a lesser grade its best to try harder next time. Being on the winning team is fun and great, but if your team loses every game its ok..its just a game. Achievement is noteworthy and something to be proud of but we can not let it define who we think we are. We are not the grades on our report card, the trophies on our mantles or the social standing we enjoy with our peers. Unfortunately/thankfully?, society thinks differently. Only winners win. You're either number one or your worthless. Lead follow or get out of the way!
Fucktards.
Thankfully? Enter the Punk Rock Ethos.
This praise driven and win at all costs zeitgeist that our society finds itself in however does provide for special opportunities that I want both of my children to be able to benefit from. Throughout my life I have been able to remain focused on MY self set goals by employing the punk rock ethic. Both my wife and I are much less infatuated with television, cellphones and status than our contemporaries. Truth is, when most of our peers were distracted by the trappings of modernity, we were able to achieve life goals. Friends would buy $200,000 homes they would later abandon...we bought what we could afford then traded up. We invested more in what matters and not what was frivolous.
I hope that we can teach our kids that while they can compete for and achieve everything the want out of life, they don't need frivolous praise to make them feel like they earned what they work hard for. Frivolous praise is for well meaning, well adjusted..Fucktards
It's not that I dont fit in.
It's that I wont.
When I discuss adoption with people who are not within the adoption community I get a lot of praise. "they're so lucky to have you and your wife", "You're saving those two babies" ...ect.
These are all well meaning and well adjusted people wishing to encourage and not to offend so I smile and say thank you. In my head however I'm saying: Your a fucktard.
The fact is that most people think they have a pretty good bead on life. Go to school, go to work, get married...get divorced, have a few memorable moments and vacations, die relatively peacefully with a feeling of purpose and accomplishment. Sounds pretty good. As long as you stay in your social circles and success pools of contacts and away from the "bad" areas of town where "those" people live...the world is pretty sunny and clean. It's a lifestyle I don't comprehend.
When the people within the above mentioned lifestyle give us praise for adopting there's always a background and subtle insult subtext that I can detect. By overpraising the adoptive parent they are in fact, attempting to dilute the accomplishments and future accomplishments of the adopted child. For example; when my daughter does fantastically well in her math class, it's "You're teaching her really well" or "you should be proud of all the extra home work you do with her". It's never: "You're daughter worked really hard and got the best grade". It's as if they wish to handicap my son and daughter because of being adopted, as if being adopted is some kind of huge mountain thus making any accomplishment is miraculous.
Both of my children have begun the second to last stage of the acquiescence into our family psychologically. They are relaxed and more focused on their individual wants and desires and less upon protecting themselves from instability and isolation. In short,...they are out there competing and gaining from the world. They are getting great grades in school, making friends and building their individual self schematics.
While both my wife and I are super proud of our kids accomplishments we are also giving our kids a realistic scale to measure these achievements throughout their lives. Good grades are fantastic, but if you get a lesser grade its best to try harder next time. Being on the winning team is fun and great, but if your team loses every game its ok..its just a game. Achievement is noteworthy and something to be proud of but we can not let it define who we think we are. We are not the grades on our report card, the trophies on our mantles or the social standing we enjoy with our peers. Unfortunately/thankfully?, society thinks differently. Only winners win. You're either number one or your worthless. Lead follow or get out of the way!
Fucktards.
Thankfully? Enter the Punk Rock Ethos.
This praise driven and win at all costs zeitgeist that our society finds itself in however does provide for special opportunities that I want both of my children to be able to benefit from. Throughout my life I have been able to remain focused on MY self set goals by employing the punk rock ethic. Both my wife and I are much less infatuated with television, cellphones and status than our contemporaries. Truth is, when most of our peers were distracted by the trappings of modernity, we were able to achieve life goals. Friends would buy $200,000 homes they would later abandon...we bought what we could afford then traded up. We invested more in what matters and not what was frivolous.
I hope that we can teach our kids that while they can compete for and achieve everything the want out of life, they don't need frivolous praise to make them feel like they earned what they work hard for. Frivolous praise is for well meaning, well adjusted..Fucktards
Sunday, January 27, 2013
Lets talk about Birth Certificates
When we adopted our two children, the first issue that we knew we wanted to handle was that of the legal documents surrounding our kids. I'm nothing if not completely anal when it comes to documentation and legal paperwork being correct and in line. This being so, when the judge gave us the option to change the birth certificates of my two kids I immediately said YES!
In effect, what happens in this situation is that the section that denotes the birth parents names and ages is filled with the new adoptive parents names and ages. The document now reads that both my wife and I were the birth parents to both children. The children's information ie, place of birth, times of birth, birth weight and gender are still intact.
Goodbye "bio-mom"
There is a small (and in my opinion) justified group of adoptees who want to change the laws that allowed my wife and I to change Birth Certificates the way I did with my two kids. You see we don't hide our adoption or any of the information about the adoption from our children. We have copious amounts of paperwork that lineates our beginning or the adoption process all the way through taking custody and becoming officially documented as the parents to our children. These are precious and important documents to my family. As soon as the entire process was over, we took all of the documents and placed them in our safe deposit box for safe keeping. These aren't just our legal documents, they are my children's past and thus belong to them. We however are an exception.
When I speak to adoptees at our adoption events, I find that many adoptive parents are so joyed to finally have their kids and they have been handling paperwork for so long that they forget to care for these precious documents correctly or store them for their children's uses later. This information is very coveted to the adult adoptee and I can completely understand why they may be angry that this original information is lost or destroyed.
The non-working solution
"Bio-moms" latched onto this problem with our birth certificates around five years ago and in fact use it as their defacto rallying cry. The calls of erasure of biological ties abound from the "bio-mom" camp and (as usual) attempt to confuse the situation in a desperate hope that one legal document will restore their parental right to receive money from the state and set precedent for a future legal battle. The "bio-mom" aren't really interested in what the adoptees may want or whats good for the adoptee so I have always tended to oppose the issue of reforming the way we handle adoption birth certificates.
Technology saves us.
Now however the issue has had some clarity placed upon it by adoptees themselves. The intention of the adoptees is not to rewrite history now that they are adults but rather to claim the information about their biological parents for their future use as adults. With many adoptees not having the same access that my wife and I have provided to my kids, this acquisition of information can be impossible. The government does not keep the old versions of the documents on file. Once the new document is created, the old one is no longer saved even as a digital back up in regards to privacy concerns. That was how it USED to be any way. Now happily, many states such as Mass, Illinois and Missouri are keeping a pdf image of the original document that will retain the original information for the adoptees future uses. This is no longer a legal document or valid for printing or reproduction as it is not a vector file BUT is is view able and takes no space or money to keep in the digital records many Vital Statistics Offices utilize today.
A WIN/WIN for everyone involved.
This new solution does two remarkable tasks that benefits all involved. The adoptive parents get to legally claim their new children on any and all medical/legal documents just as my wife and I did. For all intents and purposes they were born to us in the eyes of the law. If and ONLY if, the adult adoptee requests to view the original document, can the original document in PDF format be seen. This protects the interests of both the adoptive parents and the adoptees. If the adoptee then wishes to amend their own document after turning 18, they could very easily change it back to the original information at a low cost of $30. The adoptees are leading this charge and I have to support them. The adoptee is in the driver seat in this situation and I like that. No one is being harassed by belligerent "bio-Moms" demanding their fair share of the adoptees benefits and that simmers my opposition right there. I can rest assured that my children will have the option to change anything about their life, however they see fit and that is my intended and grace given goal as their father.
In effect, what happens in this situation is that the section that denotes the birth parents names and ages is filled with the new adoptive parents names and ages. The document now reads that both my wife and I were the birth parents to both children. The children's information ie, place of birth, times of birth, birth weight and gender are still intact.
Goodbye "bio-mom"
There is a small (and in my opinion) justified group of adoptees who want to change the laws that allowed my wife and I to change Birth Certificates the way I did with my two kids. You see we don't hide our adoption or any of the information about the adoption from our children. We have copious amounts of paperwork that lineates our beginning or the adoption process all the way through taking custody and becoming officially documented as the parents to our children. These are precious and important documents to my family. As soon as the entire process was over, we took all of the documents and placed them in our safe deposit box for safe keeping. These aren't just our legal documents, they are my children's past and thus belong to them. We however are an exception.
When I speak to adoptees at our adoption events, I find that many adoptive parents are so joyed to finally have their kids and they have been handling paperwork for so long that they forget to care for these precious documents correctly or store them for their children's uses later. This information is very coveted to the adult adoptee and I can completely understand why they may be angry that this original information is lost or destroyed.
The non-working solution
"Bio-moms" latched onto this problem with our birth certificates around five years ago and in fact use it as their defacto rallying cry. The calls of erasure of biological ties abound from the "bio-mom" camp and (as usual) attempt to confuse the situation in a desperate hope that one legal document will restore their parental right to receive money from the state and set precedent for a future legal battle. The "bio-mom" aren't really interested in what the adoptees may want or whats good for the adoptee so I have always tended to oppose the issue of reforming the way we handle adoption birth certificates.
Technology saves us.
Now however the issue has had some clarity placed upon it by adoptees themselves. The intention of the adoptees is not to rewrite history now that they are adults but rather to claim the information about their biological parents for their future use as adults. With many adoptees not having the same access that my wife and I have provided to my kids, this acquisition of information can be impossible. The government does not keep the old versions of the documents on file. Once the new document is created, the old one is no longer saved even as a digital back up in regards to privacy concerns. That was how it USED to be any way. Now happily, many states such as Mass, Illinois and Missouri are keeping a pdf image of the original document that will retain the original information for the adoptees future uses. This is no longer a legal document or valid for printing or reproduction as it is not a vector file BUT is is view able and takes no space or money to keep in the digital records many Vital Statistics Offices utilize today.
A WIN/WIN for everyone involved.
This new solution does two remarkable tasks that benefits all involved. The adoptive parents get to legally claim their new children on any and all medical/legal documents just as my wife and I did. For all intents and purposes they were born to us in the eyes of the law. If and ONLY if, the adult adoptee requests to view the original document, can the original document in PDF format be seen. This protects the interests of both the adoptive parents and the adoptees. If the adoptee then wishes to amend their own document after turning 18, they could very easily change it back to the original information at a low cost of $30. The adoptees are leading this charge and I have to support them. The adoptee is in the driver seat in this situation and I like that. No one is being harassed by belligerent "bio-Moms" demanding their fair share of the adoptees benefits and that simmers my opposition right there. I can rest assured that my children will have the option to change anything about their life, however they see fit and that is my intended and grace given goal as their father.
Sunday, January 13, 2013
Russian kids for Russia
So no more childeren are going to be adopted by American families. Theres a ton of politics, reasoning and chaotic discourse over this but plain and simple...Russia wants to keep its childeren and will do so.
The interesting aspect that I have noticed in regards to this controversy however is the criticism that the "adoption reform" movement is placing upon the adoptive parents of the international adoption programs. The criticism is often, "they shouldn't be adopting one child but donate that money to the orphanage"
Have they ever seen the lives these kids live in orphanages? The answer is NO. Why?
The answer is simple. International adoption doesn't sell any self published books or get any hits on American "adoption reform" blogs thus. the issue doesn't matter to "adoption reform" bio-moms and sullen hearted adoptees within the movement.
There is no fundraising, no activism and no thought about actual kids. There is however a healthy amount of blame shifted from the "adoption reform movement" toward any parent that actually wants to parent these children.
This however is a very good thing.
On average, 11,000 Russian children were adopted and brought into the USA via international adoption per year. The want of the future adoptive parent will now have to focus to domestic adoption and other sources of international adoption that have been woefully neglected.
Adoption carries on without the need for self published books or self directed internal dialogs.....kids need families and families need kids. This fact is what saddens me the most about the "adoption reform movement" (Can it even be called a movement anymore?) These ladies just cant believe that the world still spins after they tell their "narrative". The world...does not care. We wake up and hug our kids and adopt and get careers and our kids grow up and have kids or adopt....all the while no one asks them for permission or their thoughts on the matter. Its the self absorption that saddens me most.
The interesting aspect that I have noticed in regards to this controversy however is the criticism that the "adoption reform" movement is placing upon the adoptive parents of the international adoption programs. The criticism is often, "they shouldn't be adopting one child but donate that money to the orphanage"
Have they ever seen the lives these kids live in orphanages? The answer is NO. Why?
The answer is simple. International adoption doesn't sell any self published books or get any hits on American "adoption reform" blogs thus. the issue doesn't matter to "adoption reform" bio-moms and sullen hearted adoptees within the movement.
There is no fundraising, no activism and no thought about actual kids. There is however a healthy amount of blame shifted from the "adoption reform movement" toward any parent that actually wants to parent these children.
This however is a very good thing.
On average, 11,000 Russian children were adopted and brought into the USA via international adoption per year. The want of the future adoptive parent will now have to focus to domestic adoption and other sources of international adoption that have been woefully neglected.
Adoption carries on without the need for self published books or self directed internal dialogs.....kids need families and families need kids. This fact is what saddens me the most about the "adoption reform movement" (Can it even be called a movement anymore?) These ladies just cant believe that the world still spins after they tell their "narrative". The world...does not care. We wake up and hug our kids and adopt and get careers and our kids grow up and have kids or adopt....all the while no one asks them for permission or their thoughts on the matter. Its the self absorption that saddens me most.
Thursday, December 20, 2012
You dont adopt kids, they adopt you.
Last month being National Adoption month in the U.S. I was glad to see that the tag line for the Adoption ads is still; " You don't have to be perfect, their are plenty of kids in foster care willing to accept you just as you are". Nothing more accurately denotes the reality of the adoption dynamic.
There is a strange construct within the adoption world that gives the impression that as an adult, you somehow "take in" these children without so much as a thought given to the wants of the child. This construct is highly incorrect and completely false. Sure, you're the parent, the guardian and the responsible party but none of that matters beyond the legal system and DHS documentation.
The actual "adoption" portion that takes place happens only when the adopted child(eren) begin to trust you on their terms. Theres no tricks, no gimmicks, no coercion, just plain and simple acceptance or not acceptance on their part and my kids are no different.
This thought came to my mind recently while attending a school parent/teacher conference. As we were waiting for our turn to meet with my sons teacher my son came to me and asked if we could have "guy talk". My son especially enjoys these "guy talks" as its just totally free form man to man conversation. The only rule is that we have to use plain language that cannot be judged by the other person. We are men and men speak freely with one another.
During this particular segment of "guy talk" my son let me know that he had been having problems with another student. After listening in great detail I asked why he hadn't come to either his mom or I beforehand? His answer was simple: I take care of my own problems dad. ...and he was right. he always had.
Since the age of Two my son has been taking care of his own problems. In the horrible environment in which he and his sister were born into, my son always took the needed measures to secure security and sanity that he and his sister required. It was after all, my son that at the age of Two, walked out of the shitty apartment complex his drug abusing "Bio-mom" and drunk "Bio-grandmother" left them in and walked to get help so that his sister (a newborn) would stop crying. He set in motion the series of events that brought them to the security they now enjoy in our house, not me, not DHS and not the courts. He didn't take care of this problem himself even though he knows that he easily could have, he came to me.....he came to DAD.
As any good father I took special care of the issue with a very satisfactory end for him. Since that moment though, more and more my son relinquished his protective stance and began to trust me with certain aspects of his and his sisters care and his mother with other aspects of his and his sisters care. Soon we noticed that his sister too began to come to us with situation that previously they only wanted to do themselves...they accepted us,....they adopted us.
It is very easy for disgruntled "bio-moms" and sullen hearted adoptees to bemoan the adoption platform and services we have currently within this country. Adoption services and DHS/CPS are not perfect entities and not every case can end with everyone happy about everything. The one thing no anti-adoption "protest d-bag can argue though is when the child fully adopts the parents and their family. When the child adopts the parent, the schematic of the situation ceases to be that of the adoption process but that of a family bond even stronger than a natural blood bond. In this new schematic, both parties openly accept all the others flaws and history, you're not just a "family" you become a tribe.
There is a strange construct within the adoption world that gives the impression that as an adult, you somehow "take in" these children without so much as a thought given to the wants of the child. This construct is highly incorrect and completely false. Sure, you're the parent, the guardian and the responsible party but none of that matters beyond the legal system and DHS documentation.
The actual "adoption" portion that takes place happens only when the adopted child(eren) begin to trust you on their terms. Theres no tricks, no gimmicks, no coercion, just plain and simple acceptance or not acceptance on their part and my kids are no different.
This thought came to my mind recently while attending a school parent/teacher conference. As we were waiting for our turn to meet with my sons teacher my son came to me and asked if we could have "guy talk". My son especially enjoys these "guy talks" as its just totally free form man to man conversation. The only rule is that we have to use plain language that cannot be judged by the other person. We are men and men speak freely with one another.
During this particular segment of "guy talk" my son let me know that he had been having problems with another student. After listening in great detail I asked why he hadn't come to either his mom or I beforehand? His answer was simple: I take care of my own problems dad. ...and he was right. he always had.
Since the age of Two my son has been taking care of his own problems. In the horrible environment in which he and his sister were born into, my son always took the needed measures to secure security and sanity that he and his sister required. It was after all, my son that at the age of Two, walked out of the shitty apartment complex his drug abusing "Bio-mom" and drunk "Bio-grandmother" left them in and walked to get help so that his sister (a newborn) would stop crying. He set in motion the series of events that brought them to the security they now enjoy in our house, not me, not DHS and not the courts. He didn't take care of this problem himself even though he knows that he easily could have, he came to me.....he came to DAD.
As any good father I took special care of the issue with a very satisfactory end for him. Since that moment though, more and more my son relinquished his protective stance and began to trust me with certain aspects of his and his sisters care and his mother with other aspects of his and his sisters care. Soon we noticed that his sister too began to come to us with situation that previously they only wanted to do themselves...they accepted us,....they adopted us.
It is very easy for disgruntled "bio-moms" and sullen hearted adoptees to bemoan the adoption platform and services we have currently within this country. Adoption services and DHS/CPS are not perfect entities and not every case can end with everyone happy about everything. The one thing no anti-adoption "protest d-bag can argue though is when the child fully adopts the parents and their family. When the child adopts the parent, the schematic of the situation ceases to be that of the adoption process but that of a family bond even stronger than a natural blood bond. In this new schematic, both parties openly accept all the others flaws and history, you're not just a "family" you become a tribe.
Saturday, November 17, 2012
From the wrong side of the tracks to the right side of the law.
I come from the wrong side of the tracks. I know what it looks like, what it smells like and what it feels like. I know the power that alcohol, crystal meth and heroin can hold over entire families. I also know that for whatever reason, those entire families are swallowed up in decades long lines of bad choices made after bad choices followed up by more bad options followed by bad options. It’s a chosen cycle of the lowest common denominator of the spirit, a broken spirit.
I have seen what kids go through in this section of our society. I helped the kids run away when I could but somehow, they would be dumped right back in with their mom who only cleaned up enough to pass the DHS inspection. I have invited neighborhood friends over to allow them a respite from their “caring” family …at least there were no late night alcoholic beatings at my house and that looked pretty good to my friends.
I know this area beyond the tracks…and so do both of my kids.
I read the DHS documents. I read the repeated attempts to get bio-mom to just go to rehab and take the path given to her to clean up and even get away from her decades of family mistakes. Then, I read her responses and excuses as to why she ..just didn’t want to…in which I and the judge read as..Take my kids away. Thankfully he did.
The stories that my children’s therapists come back to me with are stories I’ve encountered before. Neglect, abuse, lack of food, both of my children have told me privately the horrors they faced but I’m glad specifically that a trained mental health professional is able to work with them the way that I cant. I can only protect them.
This week that protection comes in the grateful blessings of the people of my state. No longer do the adopted kids from these areas of society have to be jerked around by bio-moms wanted to buck the system at their children’s expense. The work I did with the Outlier adoption crew and with the legislation offices of my representatives these past Eleven months was difficult but well worth it when I think about how many kids won’t be dragged back into bad situations by a DHS that was blindfolded by bad measures and added on bills.
Long gone are the days where fuck ups and shitty bio-moms can gain from the system while doing horrible harm to their children. Now this human garbage can hurt themselves individually and not continue their rampage against future generations. Meanwhile, two children and now countless more can grow up in control of their own futures and that makes me a very happy dad indeed
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